Halftime

I have been in Ottawa for 7 weeks now - exactly halfway through! I've been reflecting on my journey so far. It has been good. Not at all easy, but good. Timely too. I have grown in ways that I'm just beginning to articulate for myself; what I'm growing towards is still a wonderful mystery. But I sense it is all very good. I just need to hold that space longer and be patient.

I have learnt that there are things which I didn't think I could do, or which I thought could not be done. Adjusting to life in Ottawa, and observing the creativity within and approaches used by the School have challenged the hidden assumptions I had about myself and the work we do. There is so much possibility.

Being away from "life as usual" has opened up a space for revisiting what I hold dear as well. A few steps removed and in a different environment, the same things do look different. The distance throws into sharp relief the people, priorities and things that are truly close to my heart, vs. those that simply cloud my life.

Many of us have read/heard the short story about a professor who went into his time management class and illustrated the concept by filling a glass jar first with big rocks, then smaller pebbles and finally grains of sand - each time proving that there was yet more space in the jar. His point? That if we choose to fill the jars of our lives with sand first, we'll never find the space for the really important and significant things - the big rocks. So a question I continue to hold for myself (though I started with some answers already) is "What are the big rocks in my life?" Furthermore, from a Christian perspective, the question also is "Is He truly the Rock of my life?"

I know that the journey so far has been sweet and rewarding also because many people are walking with me, in Singapore and in Ottawa. I remember that before I came here, someone prayed a simple prayer - that I would find friends in Ottawa. And that I would be a friend too. I have received the gifts of friendship and kindness from many people here, just as I know that many people back in Singapore are supporting me in various ways.

So many times we say "it's about the journey, not the destination" to emphasize that the experience and inner growth is just as important as the external goals we try to reach. Now I realise that "the journey" isn't just about looking inwards at ourselves, but also about appreciating and celebrating the people who travel with us.

I came to Ottawa knowing that I enjoy to learn. Perhaps I will go back to Singapore knowing that I have learnt to enjoy - every turn, peak, trough and bump of a journey, and each traveller on it.